Breaking the cycle of scrolling

I’ve been on the internet a long time in terms of my life experience. I was regularly using the internet to check on the latest news about the Star Wars prequels as far back as 1998, when I was twelve. I was using AOL Instant Messenger in middle school, online forums in high school, and my college was added to The Facebook my first semester of college. I had a full time job before I had a smartphone, but I’ve had an iPhone since 2010. In some ways it feels like I have grown up alongside the internet’s own growth. Unfortunately, so much of the present is not working for either of us. 

My brain is tired. Almost exhausted from all of the pings, notifications, and constant stream of information we are being bombarded with daily. Even in college, I would check Facebook 1-2 times a day alongside my emails, maybe an additional time or two if I was working at a computer lab or needed to stop by one to submit a paper I had been working on at a cafe. But since the rise of smartphones and the increasing number and volume of social media platforms, I think my brain has been warped by the constant influx of information and the gamification of every aspect of life. And I think I’m done. I’m trying to get off the escalator, the constant checking in, the constant vibration of my phone when I get a new email, a like, a comment, a text, an exciting limited time offer. 

Some of this is my fault. I’ve opted into a lot. Since Facebook, I’ve been on Instagram, MySpace, Twitter, BlueSky, Discord, Letterboxd, Goodreads, Storygraph, Reddit, Digg, and at least two Google products I don’t even remember the names of anymore. But other aspects of it are intentionally designed to lure us in and keep us there. This is why it is so easy to scroll on social media, why Instagram will feed you Reels until you literally die watching them. Just one more, I will tell myself, and then lose 20 minutes to “influencers” aka paid advertisers, AI slop videos, cute animals, and compilations of unsafe work environments. And the algorithm is designed to keep you on the hook, finding your interests and hooking them up to a fire hose. But there’s no substance in any of these things. Yes, they tug at our emotions (how cute and rage) seem to be the easiest ones to activate), but they don’t really challenge us. Life “hacks” are just weird subroutines humans like to share with each other, but I don’t actually need to know how to fold up a donut box for leftovers. Even the offline stuff social media encourages is a time waster.

And I’ve made some great friends in online communities over the years, and being connected through the internet is the lifeblood of many of my offline relationships too. But that key word is community. The online spaces that are giving me more back than I put into them are closed communities, like a private server with some of my closest friends or ones connected to a podcast I listen to regularly. The broader social media space, like BlueSky, can be fun when you can find those communities, but these days I find myself more likely to just swirl in my own little silo. I just don’t find myself caring as much about participating online the way I used to (the irony of writing this in my online newsletter is not lost on me, but if you want to send me your name and address, I will start mailing these to you). 

I am tired of being plugged in to The Matrix. That unending torrent of data flying at our brains at light speed. It is being used to make us feel we are not enough without being super minimalist but also buying a bunch of plastic boxes to keep our refrigerator looking like a convenience store. To make us hate ourselves, to make us fear each other. The price of being connected all the time is to feel disconnected from the things that matter like people, nature, and art. To keep our brains so busy we cannot possibly process anything so we remain in a state of inaction. Going along with the flow like happy consumers. But the system is breaking down.

The past 10 years of real world events, politics, and late-stage capitalism shifting into what feels like a higher gear (K-shaped economy) have accelerated this feeling for me.We live in an attention-based economy, in part because so many of us in the working class are struggling to afford much beyond shelter, groceries, and streaming service subscriptions. But the things that used to give me joy—movies, books, games, music—have lost some of their luster when the need to engage with them feels like homework for online life. Decoupling from social media I hope will help me engage with these things on my own terms, slowing down a bit so I can read more than 1 chapter of my book without reaching for my phone in fear I will have missed an Instagram story. I’m going to be trying a bunch of things over the next few months to slow myself down and tilt my neck up away from my phone and back to the actual horizon. 

If you want to read and think more about this, I have two book recommendations for you: Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now by Douglas Rushkoff and Please Unsubscribe, Thanks by Julio Vincent Gambuto. And feel free to shoot me an email: [email protected] (for now). I’m trying to only check it twice a day, so I will get back to you soon, but not immediately. Hang in there, Coppertops.

Also, check out my latest reviews on MovieJawn.com:

▶ Podcast in my ears: I, Podius

▶ Current reads: The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, Wearing the Lion by John Wiswell

▶ Album on repeat: Boycott Heaven by The Format

▶ Find me: https://linktr.ee/silberwhatever